Slow Learning

 

I am slowly learning what it means to be human.

                                             

I am slowly learning how to forgive the past. How

to accept that sometimes beautiful things end, that

sometimes the timing isn't right, that sometimes the

messiness of life gets in the way. I am slowly learning

that endings aren't something to be upset about, but

rather, I am slowly learning how to appreciate how

damn lucky I was to experience something real and 

hopeful and light in a world that sometimes fails to

be soft.

I am slowly learning how to be alone, I am slowly

learning how to wake up in the middle of the bed. How

to make just one cup of coffee in the mornings. How

to hold my own heart, how to take up my own space. I 

am slowly learning how to stop filling voids with other

human beings, and instead, I am slowly learning how

to confront the void itself. How to heal it.

I am slowly learning what it means to be human.

What it means to make mistakes and learn from them.

What it means to be both happy and sad at the same

time. I am slowly learning how to do the damn work.

How to stop running from what is heavy and uncom-

fortable in my life. How to take the easy route less and

less. How to grow myself, how to be a better person.