It kill Me Inside

Now i'll too keep myself that much busy, so that i wont get time to remember you and not even any single thing about you. You always mention that just because of busy and very hectic schedule , you never get time to call me back , else you too care about me.

                                                    

                                              

 

    You also love with the same level and excitement. But it just you are not expressive and as you are men so its not possible for you to act like me,  in the childish  way . If you are girl than for you its easy to like child and be stubborn. But a man have to act mature in every situation and specially because he have to bare all responsibility and burden on shoulder .

  

     According to him , i always under his shadow and protection, so I don't have to take and responsibility. Its he , who always accomplish major task, the head of the family .

And i was like, how he can think in this way.

When he stay away from home, for months then I am the one and only  who accomplish all jobs related to home and cover all responsibility alone. 

When he was here, that to for specifically to attend some event ,function , festival or wedding. When he only showed up for some hours or maximum for two days.  When he come here , i have to be ready with everything, like plans , his specific OOTD dress, food what he likes and list of person whom with he want to spend his most precious time. The time which he never get for me.

Its me only who make him ," Head of family". If im not here , who would called him by this name.

So i decided , this time i wont call him. I will not call him for anything, did he reach there , how he is, is there anything he need from here, when he will be here again.

This time let him realize that, " im too a human being." and i too have feelings just like him. 

Let him realize , that im doing his job here not mine , making him alive here, creating space for him here in family .

So that he can peruse his dream job by sacrificing my dreams.

Else it wont take a month to everyone, to forget his presence. 

I haven't realize that an hour have been passed with this all show of different thoughts at time. So i just picked up my phone to check some update, but as the light on and screen shows me his picture.

Without a moment delay that picture bring smile on my face, its like i have light up my face too.

My hand scroll to his number and i dialed it, without any shame . I should feel shameful because last from an hour my head is struggling with all those rebel thoughts and my heart wont take a moment to forget all this drama.

He picked up call.

I says," Hello..."

Without hearing my whole sentence, he just cut my voice in mid and says," listen im busy write now, just drop the text . If its not urgent i'll call you later."

I just replied ," Nothing important , just go." It kill me inside , like every other day.