You must push yourself- Part 2

1. In an age of speed and acceleration, aim to slow down. When you live slow, you become more mindful and intentional about how to live your life, and you begin to take care of your body, mind, and soul so that they can then take care of you.

We’re now living in an age of speed and acceleration where a rhythm of rush can be found all around us: Fast food, fast fashion, fast internet, fast travel, fast money. In my early twenties, I also lived in the fast lane after falling for this emotionally-wrecking trap of the hurry-up life philosophy.

                                              

It wasn’t until a little over a year ago, when I hit an all-time low in my life, that I decided to slow down. I stopped hustling. I stopped optimizing. I stop being aimless and mindless and I started becoming much more intentional and mindful—and this approach sits at the core of what it means to live slow.

Slow living is a life philosophy. It’s a state of mind you embody in your day-to-day living and it’s the antithesis to mindless hustle. It shifts the focus away from speed and efficiency and onto the idea that we should do what’s most important to us and our growth, and do it as best as we can instead of as fast as possible. It improves attention, creates stillness, and develops emotional maturity.

Here are some signs you’re starting to live slow:

You’re putting yourself first, which means that you’re prioritizing your own emotional and mental wellbeing before anyone else’s because it has finally dawned on you that you cannot give from that which you don’t have. 

You’re becoming more intentional about how you want to live your day-to-day life and the kind of lifestyle you want to lead, so you’re not doing more—you’re doing less of what doesn’t matter so you can do more of what does.

You’re not rushing in the mornings. Instead, you’re giving yourself the time to discover how you want to set the tone for the day, so you’re creating a self-care plan that works for you and tailors to your needs rather than to what society tells you a self-care plan should look like. 

You’re meditating and reading books to nourish your mind. You’re journaling and making time to practice hobbies that you love so you can feed your soul. You’re treating your body with the respect it deserves. You stretch to stay flexible. You move and exercise regularly. You try to eat healthy wholesome foods, but you also allow yourself the fun of indulging in sweet delights.  

Anytime you’re faced with a dilemma, you ask yourself this question: “Does this matter to me?” If the answer is yes, you give it your attention. Otherwise, you let it go.

You’re saying “no” more than you’re saying “yes.” You’re protecting your time and safeguarding your energy. You’re not jumping into things just because they sound cool—you’re going back to that question of “does this even matter to me?”

You’re learning how to design an environment that is conducive to your growth; you’re choosing to move away from people with negative energies and closer to people who uplift you. That’s how you’re creating more space for wonder and inspiration.

You’re starting to accept that struggle is simply the refusal to accept what is. So now you’re teaching yourself how to surrender to the flow of life. You’re learning how to trust the process and you’re becoming more aware of the benefits of focusing only on what’s within your control. 

You’re slowing down to become more observant and conscious of the beauty all around you. You’re becoming more grateful for all that life has to offer you: The sun in the sky, the soothing sound of the waves kissing the shore, the comfortable bed you get to sleep in tonight.

You’re creating more than you’re consuming. You’re realizing that a sense of purpose is rooted in the service of others, so you’re now seeking meaningful work you enjoy doing and choosing to give it your best effort.

You’re recognizing that the sanctuary is found within you and the only way to reach it is to be kind to yourself first, so you can then be kind to all other humans around you.

Slow living is a way of life that values mindful, intentional decision making over rapid, intense, and aimless acceleration. So instead of living a life of escapism where you run from what’s wrong, slow down so you can see the path that will allow you to walk toward what’s right for you.

2. Journaling is the most timeless and priceless form of therapy that will help you think clearly, understand yourself better, and make better sense of life.

Journaling is simply the act of reflecting and thinking about certain aspects of your life and writing them down—and translating your thoughts into words can have a profound impact on all areas of your life. 

Writing helps you declutter your mind and better process your emotions, both of which lead to better thinking. You’re also 42% more likely to achieve your goals, simply by writing them down on a regular basis.

I read somewhere following a 5-minute intentional journaling exercise every morning  and it’s helped to be more intentional about day. Once a week for the past a year, I’ve been writing a free-flow journal entry where I reflect on what’s going on in my life and strategize for what’s ahead.

Truth is, it’s only through regular writing that you can develop a deeper level of self-awareness and a better understanding of yourself. So keep a journal as a form of reflective meditation and a medium to tap in and converse with yourself. 

Write to understand yourself better.

Write to think better. 

Write to make sense of life.

3. You grow rich when you seek new experiences, not material things.  

Material things break. They collect dust. They might even be forgotten over time. Experiences, however, live with you forever. When I look back, I remember the day I went Yoga classes, the first time , the time when i have completed my first session, i feel so relaxed and internal me says me that all this i want always, a relaxed life routine.

When I look back, I remember experiences, not things. 

Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. once wrote that “a mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.” This is so true. Experiences stretch us because they push us out of our comfort zones and into our growth zones. And as we gather more experiences, we grow, curate memories, build relationships—we evolve, and thus, we grow richer in mind, body, and spirit.

4. In today’s digital-first world, the greatest skill you can leverage is the power of focused attention, and the way to build it is through daily meditation. 

Daily meditation. Difficult because you cannot speak. Beautiful because you finally learn how to create the mental space for peace of mind. 

That’s how I realized that meditation works wonders. Why? Because meditation teaches you how not to be the victim of the mind’s wandering thoughts. It trains you on how to take control of your mind’s attention and direct it as you please. 

As I used to explain to my clients while working at Google: We now live in a digital-first world where the average user’s attention span is less than 5 seconds (hence why YouTube video ads are skippable after 5 seconds). 

What does that mean? It means that the greatest skill you can leverage at this moment—and into the future—is the power of focused attention. Focused attention is your ultimate currency. You can train and compound this attention-muscle with the daily practice of mediation. 

5. The equation to financial wealth is quite simple: Learn how to manage your money, master a skillset that will make you valuable, and create more than you consume.

We never learned how to manage our money.

Look, everyone shares the motivation to make more money, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but what’s the point in acquiring more money if the sabotaging issue is with our inability to manage it? 

The first step to financial wealth then is to fix our relationship with money and build better habits so we can better manage it. You build the foundational skills to manage a 5-figure income and they become transferable to a 7-figure income. 

At the end of the day, money comes and goes. It arrives in the form of an income and it leaves in the form of expenses. Your income is what you earn from the work you produce and your expenses increase as you continue to consume. So, in a nutshell, the more you produce—or create—and the less you consume, the more wealth you will create. 

But the question is, how can you create more money when you only have one source of income? How do you quadruple your production or creation? 

Here’s the answer: You master a skillset that makes you valuable. You think like a craftsman and become one of the best at what you do. Why? Because that opens the door to more creation which opens the door to more income streams: You can now teach others what you know. You can now productize your knowledge and yourself.

The equation to financial wealth is quite simple: 

Learn how to manage your money. Fix your relationship with money and build the foundational skills that will become transferable. 

Master a skillset that will make you valuable. Think like a craftsman and become so valuable at a certain skillset that people will be so willing to pay and learn from you.

Create more than you consume. Cutting expenses saves you money, but creating more income streams makes you money. And how do you build more income streams? You create products that provide added value to the market. How? You leverage the skillset that you’ve mastered.

See how it all connects?

6. You’re a student of life, for life. Your sole objective, then, is to keep learning, evolving, and expanding your mind.

Thousands of years ago, Confucius wrote these words: “Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.” And yet—whether it’s rooted in our ego’s pride or low self-awareness—we continue to overestimate our abilities to achieve some things even though we clearly do not have the right skill set to attain them. 

In psychology, this is referred to as the Dunning-Kruger Effect, a type of cognitive bias whereby people who are incompetent at something are unable to recognize their own incompetence. I learned this lesson exactly two years ago when I dove headfirst into the world of entrepreneurship thinking that I knew everything and it will be a walk in the park. 

Newsflash: It wasn’t.

That’s when I adopted this new philosophy into my life: You are a student of life, for life. I hope you adopt it too. If you do, then your sole objective becomes to keep learning, evolving, and expanding your mind. How? Read books and get busy doing: Explore new hobbies, seek new experiences, or master a skillset. 

7. Fear is not there to stop you, it’s there to show you that you’re interested and you care. So befriend fear, don’t fight it, because once you do something that scares you, it becomes almost insignificantly small the second time around.

Once realize that fear is a feeling that arises only when you’re interested in something, your relationship with fear changes. You stop fighting it. Instead, you start leaning into it and befriending it—which puts you in the driver’s seat and in control of your destiny. 

This is where one small mental shift can help you overcome the fear of taking action—the realization that if you take the first small step forward, everything else becomes easier because once you do something that scares you, it becomes almost insignificantly small the second time around.

Once you quit your job, it becomes easier to quit the second time around. Once you build your first business, the second becomes significantly easier. With time, the more wins with fear you can accumulate, the more fearless you will become.

8. You have to believe in yourself before anyone else does. That’s the cornerstone upon which real confidence is built. 

Let’s get clear on this: Nothing in your life will change if you don’t take action toward creating the change that you want to see. And truth be told, you will most probably not bother to take action if you don’t believe in your ability to bring about that change in the first place. Part of this is due to the fact that your brain is designed to keep you tucked into your comfort zone, but another part comes back to this: You don’t believe in yourself, and so you don’t bother to try and go after what you most deeply desire.

Since every action you take—or avoid—is rooted in a set of beliefs, the first step then is not to build the confidence to take action, but rather to change the belief itself. Look inside yourself, work from a place of identity, and re-write the script of the story that you repeatedly tell yourself: 

I believe in my ability to figure things out as I go. I know that I can weather the storm when it hits. I know that I can adjust my sails when the wind blows. I am confident that I can find a way when the obstacles mount. I do believe that I’m capable of achieving what I set out to do. 

Self-believe is the light that sparks your confidence. And it’s your self-belief that drives you to dive into new experiences that stretch beyond your comfort zone.

The way to genuine self-belief isn’t by boasting about what you’ve accomplished or talking about what you’re going to do. No. The way to real self-belief is to do the exact opposite: Stay quiet, and let your actions speak for themselves. Why? Because real confidence speaks in silent action. 

On that note, here’s how the confidence cycle works, and here are five habits that can help you build real self-confidence.

9. Nature, laughter, kindness, love, and self-compassion—the best and most beautiful things in life are imperfect and free.

Sunsets. A swim in the sea. A walk in nature. Waking up to witness the sunrise over the mountains. A minute-long embrace. Laughter. Kindness. Love. Self-compassion. All these things are imperfectly beautiful and all of them are free. 

The question I always ponder is why do we spend so much of our time, energy, and money seeking temporary pleasure in monetary material when we can find eternal meaning in the beauty that exists all around us?

You can find solace in nature.

You can find love in self-compassion.

You can find relief in laughter.

And you can find beauty in imperfection.

Nature, laughter, kindness, love, and self-compassion—these are the best and most beautiful things in life and they are totally free. They’re imperfect and that’s what makes them perfect. Nature calms you, laughter has the magic to revive you, and kindness and self-compassion weave a fabric of love into your world. And collectively, they heal wounds.

10. Failure and adversity are the greatest teachers—there’s a reason we can only see the light of the stars in the darkest of times.

I used to be ashamed to say that I failed. Now, I realize that it’s a blessing because failure gives you experience and teaches you how not to do things so that the next time you try, you’re more inclined to succeed. You have to fail first in order to succeed. Failure then is one step closer to success than not trying. 

I used to be discouraged by adversity. Now, I embrace it because I know that obstacles are not there to keep us out but to give us a chance to build up the strength, character, and resilience to break them down. 

Together, failure and adversity remind us that we must not be negatively affected by our own disappointments, rather, we must respond to them with the positive enthusiasm that would allow us the chance to thrive in spite of them. 

So when you find yourself at a low, please remind yourself that it’s only in the darkness that we can see the stars in the sky. Similarly, it’s only in the darkest of times when the light can enter us. That’s why those who have been hurt the most have the greatest ability to heal. 

And healing, as with everything else we can control in life, is a choice. We open the gateway to it once we learn how to become more grateful for our struggles, more appreciative of all the little blessings in life, and thus, a more beautiful being because of them.