You Are Your Greatest Obstacle

 Ever since I was a kid, I’ve had this dream of changing the  making world  better place for all, but growing up, I had no idea how—let alone what I wanted to do with my life.

                                                          

                                                   

So I tried different things: I studied different courses, I worked at different company full time part time, I backpacked for lengths at a time, I launched my own online business. I kept on looking outward, never truly feeling any sense of contentment or peace, until I arrived at these words by in online search or i can say scrolling:

“Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise so I am changing myself.”

That’s precisely when I began to understand that all the change I’m seeking in my life first begins with me. And all the change that you’re seeking in your life first begins with you. Change the inside, and the outside falls into place. 

The truth is, you are capable of creating whatever you please, but what’s standing in the way between where you are and where you want to be is you. Not time, not money, not circumstances—you. And do you know why? It’s because you are your greatest obstacle.

The sooner you learn this, the better, and the sooner you accept, the sooner you will want to learn how you can change. And once again, this eloquent words chime in and ring ever so true: Yesterday you were clever so you wanted to change the world. Today you are wise so you’re changing yourself.

1. Your entire life can change in an instant. So instead of passively taking what you have for granted, be grateful for it and do whatever good you can with it. 

When I was 27, I flew off a taxi and blacked out on the street. In an instant, I fractured my leg and some injury pain in my neck and teeth. In an instant, the entire trajectory of the next year of my life changed.

Earlier this year, when i turned 30 in age number and whole world is experiencing corona pandemic the largest explosion of death of human's in history and financial crisis too. In an instant, lakhs of people lost their lives and become jobless and homeless. I could’ve easily been one of them.

We often forget that death hangs over us; it lingers in the space we cannot touch, and in the blink of an eye, in the flash of a second, it can capture us and strip us bare of the most precious blessing of all: The gift of being alive.

Your entire life can change in instant. So stop taking what you have for granted. Instead, be grateful for it, and do whatever good you can with it.

2. It’s okay to feel lost sometimes; the truth is that you owe nothing to your younger self, but you owe everything to your present self.

When I was younger, I used to think that feeling lost was something to be ashamed of. Now I realize it’s the normal course of life because life is not a straight line that goes from A to B, it’s a canvas of circles and waves, ups and downs, highs and lows. It’s a journey of self-discovery and creation. We paint it with a set of colors and then re-stroke it with another. 

Life is transformative . 

So feeling lost is normal and no matter how “put together” everyone around you seems, when you dig deeper, you’ll realize that they’re all just “figuring it out” as they go. Every business owner is constantly trying to figure out how to reach more customers, every couple in a relationship is constantly trying to figure out how to keep it working, and every new parent is constantly trying to figure out how to maneuver their way through parenthood.

Truth is, I’ve come to realize that feeling lost is a sign of growth. It means that the things you once valued are no longer the things that matter to you today. And do you know why? It’s because you are no longer your younger self. 

When you were a kid, you set goals and dreams for who you thought you would want to become as an adult, but through time and novel experiences, your interests changed, and so did the way you think. Now I’ve realized that the previous ideas I had for my future self no longer resonate with the ideas I have for my present self today. 

The same applies to you: The person you are today is not responsible for being the person you once thought you would want to become. The person you are today is solely responsible for the adult you want to be today. You owe nothing to your younger self, but you owe everything to your present self.

So it’s okay to feel lost or feel like you don’t know what you’re doing with your life — you’re not expected to have it all figured out because it’s a process. What’s important, however, is that you don’t use “being lost” as an excuse to sit in stagnation. What’s important is that you toil in the language of action more than that of contemplation and thought.

3. Action breeds more clarity than thought, so you can’t think your way into a new life, you have to act your way into one.

How do you find out what you actually want in life? You lean into what you think you want and take action toward it. That’s the best answer I can give you because here’s what I’ve learned: Action breeds more clarity than thought. 

I spent the majority of my teen years thinking that what I wanted to do with my time on earth was to get a normal Nine to nine job life and rest full free life, until I joined a corporate company and realized: That’s not what I want. A few years later, I spent the majority of my time at Google dreaming of becoming an entrepreneur and building the next small yet powerful startup, until I launched my own company with my dad and realized: That’s not what I actually want.

Action breeds more clarity than thought  because, at the end of the day, you will only learn, improve, and figure it out, by doing. You’ll learn how to cook by cooking. You’ll master the art of writing by sitting down to write every day. 

When you lean into your curiosity and walk the path, you will gain experience, and the answer to what you actually want will reveal itself to you as you work toward what it is you think you want.

All you need, then, is a direction to move into. All you need is the “where,” not the “how.” Once you begin to walk the path and trust the process, the answers begin to reveal themselves to you, and the way begins to appear. That’s why you can’t think your way into a new life; you have to act your way into one.

4. Chasing happiness will lead you to misery until you realize that happiness is the way.

A few years ago, everyone to whom I told me that they had yet to find happiness in their life— still chasing and looking for it. Unfortunately, I used to think the exact same. 

Perhaps that’s because modern society conditions us to believe that happiness is a destination we arrive at: the promotion and specially with government job life that will wash away all our problems or the freedom we will obtain from leaving a 9–5 job. So we now live with this idea: “When X happens, I’ll be happy.”

I lived the entirety of the past decade cultivating this toxic mentality and it affected every major decision I made in my life. I was always chasing the next big thing, in constant pursuit of what’s next, never truly indulging in the fullness of what I already had right here, right now.

Here’s what I want you to realize: Happiness is not a paradise island we must go looking for. No. Happiness is a deep-rooted rose of contentment that you carry with you everywhere you go — and you are the one who chooses whether or not to water it every morning upon waking up.

Your happiness and wellbeing have nothing to do with how well you think you’re doing, how far into the journey you’ve crossed, or what’s coming next. Your happiness and wellbeing have everything to do with how present, accepting, and content you are with all that is, right here, right now.

As per the words of Thich Nhat Hanh, “there is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.” If you fail to appreciate this sentiment and continue to chase the big elusive dream of a distant happy future, then you’ll never experience the self-worth and contentment that can be found in this very moment.

And it doesn’t take much to be happy: Practice being present, write down what you’re grateful for every morning, be accepting of whatever happens, and do something every day that brings joy to your heart. These are some of the easy, simple, and practical pieces of advice on how to become happier. 

5. If you want to change the trajectory of your life, embrace these rules and apply them: Commitment is what gets you started, consistency is what gets you somewhere, and persistence is what keeps you going. 

From the years of 24 to 28, I only talked about becoming an entrepreneur, but I never did. Why? Because, back then, all I did was talk, but never “do.” So, on my 29th birthday, I registered my first company—I committed to becoming an entrepreneur, and that changed the trajectory of my life.

One year later, on my 30th birthday, I chose to become a writer. I committed to this new vocation and over the course of that  months, I built a system to help me stay consistent. Within one n half months, I published 40 online articles, from zero followers on Medium to over 30. 

What was secret? 

I consistently wrote and published 2-3 articles per week. Even on the days when I didn’t feel like writing, I forced myself to show up, sit on a chair, and write. 

If you want to change your life around, here’s what you must do:

Commit to one thing.

Stay consistent in it.

Push through it.

Commitment is what gets you started on a new trajectory. Consistency—which is the key to creating long-lasting and sustainable change in life—is what gets you somewhere. And persistence is what keeps you going in spite of adversity.

6. We breakdown little by little, day by day, but we also take care of ourselves, and build ourselves up, little by little, day by day. Why? Because your habits define you—what you do today is a reflection of who you will become tomorrow.

There’s a thin line standing between where you are today and where you will be tomorrow. The hinge that connects the two is the one small habit you repeat every single day. If you lean into bad habits (or neglect the good ones), you will breakdown little by little, day by day, but if you practice good habits, you will build yourself up, little by little, day by day.

In my first six months of entrepreneurship, I completely neglected myself. I stopped meditating, I stopped socializing, I stopped exercising, I stopped taking care of myself. The result? Sleepless nights of overthinking, constant frustration and worry, emotional turmoil, and confusion—I was miserable. 

Fortunately, as soon as I became conscious of this self-sabotaging behavior, I vowed that I will never allow myself to fall this low ever again. Since then, I’ve incorporated 10 daily habits and still practice them to this day. They include, among others, a 15-minute daily morning meditation, gratitude journaling, daily stretching and exercise, and intermittent fasting. 

The reality is that every day we are faced with new challenges, some bigger and more catastrophic than others. In spite of the emotional wreckage we might find ourselves in, we must look inward to ignite the fortitude that allows us to pick ourselves back up and carry on. How do we do this? We allow our daily rituals to uphold us. Our daily habits and self-care rituals fashion the rhythm upon which our life flows and the direction in which it progresses because what you do today is a reflection of who you will become tomorrow. 

Want to know where you’ll be in a year’s time? Look at what you’re doing today. Do you aspire to be a writer? Well, are you writing today? Do you want to be in the best shape of your life. That’s great, but did you exercise today? You become your habits because you are what you repeatedly do.

Whatever you want those day-to-day anchors, habits, and rituals to consist of, do your best to stick with them because breakthroughs don’t happen overnight—transformative breakthroughs happen after the tiny increments of change in your day-to-day life compound into something beautiful over time. 

7. Share your progress, not your goals, and you’ll always be motivated. 

Research has proven that the premature praise we receive from sharing our goals in public becomes a substitute for actually achieving them. That’s why a lot of people talk about what they want to do, but never actually end up doing them. And that’s why I learned to no longer announce my goals in public. Rather, I work silently behind the scenes and share my progress instead. 

When you track and share your progress, you keep yourself motivated. The tracking allows you to see your evolution unfolding before your eyes and the sharing allows people to praise you not on your results, but on your process.

Tracking my progress is one of the three strategies I use to keep myself motivated to write. I’ve built myself a dashboard on Google Sheets to track and measure my progress, and I do it for three reasons:

It keeps me motivated and inspires me to keep going.

It helps me stay disciplined.

It helps me make better decisions (because now I have data to work with).

So if you want to move the needle, start sharing your progress, and stop sharing your goals—start sharing what you’re actively doing, and stop sharing what you want to be doing. 

8. Every second you spend comparing your life to someone else’s is a second spent wasting yours; so stop comparing and create your own definition of success instead.

Comparing ourselves to others is one of the most toxic habits that can drastically affect our mental health and emotional wellbeing. 

When I first started my entrepreneurial journey, I was comparing myself to every other one out there and specially with one of my friend who started some months ago. His work was going very good and even he was earning well. I would compare my chapter one to someone’s chapter twenty, without knowing the full extent of their story. In fact, I didn’t even know any of the people I would compare myself with. Was there any sense in this? Absolutely not. Did it make me miserable? Yes, it did.

The truth is that each one of us is unique. We all have our own story to keep writing and our own paths to keep walking. So instead of comparing yourself with others, create your own definition of success; as long as you stay true to this definition, you are successful. 

Part of my definition of success for the past year was to publish two articles per week. I did. Do I consider myself successful? Yes. 

Who cares if society thinks otherwise?

9. Designing a meaningful life you love is possible, but doing what you love won’t make life any easier—it will just make you more disciplined and it more joyful.

My ideal life is one where I create more than I consume, enjoy my quality time with the people I love, tell good stories that inspire positive growth in others, and I’m healthy and financially independent with the freedom to do my creative work from wherever I please. That’s my definition of success. 

Over the past two years, every morning I wake up, I am reminded that designing a meaningful life that I love—where I live it on my own terms and do what I genuinely enjoy—is possible. 

Why? Because every morning I receive new notifications that remind me of this possibility: The growing number of people who read my articles, the growing number of subscribers to my newsletter, the messages I receive from readers. 

Visions are possible to achieve and everyone who tells you otherwise is a cynical person who’s given up on the abundance of beauty that life has to offer. The truth is, people will always project their fears and limiting beliefs onto you. What you must do is build a shield against this noise so you can protect yourself from it.

But here’s the caveat: If you’re waiting for someone to give you the green light to get started on designing that life you want, you’ll be waiting forever. Nobody is going to come along and push you onto the path of what you desire. You must push yourself. Nobody is going to come along and give you the approval to be yourself. The only approval you need is your own.

Yes, you can build yourself a lifestyle where you are doing what you love every day. Your first step is to take responsibility for it. Define what makes life worth living for you, and then design your life around that. 

Your second step is to recognize that doing what you love won’t make life any easier. In fact, you’ll find it more difficult initially to pave your own path. Some days will be hard, really hard. You will have to work ten-fold. You will doubt yourself. You will question everything. And yet, those are the biggest signs of growth and renewal. 

Stick with it and see it through.

As per the beautiful words of Rumi, “let the beauty of what you love be what you do.” And that’s because there’s magic in doing what you love: You’ll prioritize it, you’ll become more disciplined for it, you’ll enjoy the process of working toward it, and once you get into your flow, it will rarely feel like work. 

10. Whether right or wrong, everything you do is born out of a set of beliefs. This implies that self-care is not all roses and chocolates; self-care is going deep within to surface all the subconscious behavioral and thought patterns that are sabotaging your growth.

Self-care is not all roses and chocolates. Self-care is looking in the mirror and asking yourself these hard questions: 

What’s weighing me down? 

What do I need to let go of in order to allow myself to bloom upward? 

What habits and false ideals don’t serve me any longer? 

What self-limiting beliefs am I holding onto? 

Self-care is realizing that you are your greatest obstacle. And that’s one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned over the past few years. Your beliefs, your ideals, your habits, the way you speak to and of yourself, the extent of your self-acceptance, your subconscious behavioral and thought patterns… All these things, if not evaluated and upgraded, will sabotage your progress in life.

Today, you subconsciously act in a way to validate old narratives. You’ve seen how things are done and now you subconsciously think that’s the only way things can be done. You’ve been criticized and now you subconsciously believe that you’re not capable of flourishing. You’ve been hurt and now you subconsciously hold onto resentful grudges that do you no good. 

The reality is this: Every action you take is born out of a deep-rooted set of beliefs—regardless of whether these beliefs are right or wrong. So if you want to change your self-sabotaging behavior, and thus, the trajectory of your life, you must first change those inner-beliefs. How? You raise your self-awareness so you can make the subconscious conscious.

We can never flourish or experience any positive sustainable change in our life as long as we keep carrying the entire weight of our baggage with us. Self-care is the active process of learning how to identify these self-sabotaging patterns that weigh us down and then letting them go. 

Once we let go of what’s no longer positively serving us, we will allow room for what will.